Craig Bengel, Washington Bureau Chief
It was only a matter of time.
When I came home from work last night, my pre-schooler dropped a bomb on me:
Max: “Daddy, I have fibo-Malaysia disease.”
Me: “Fibo-what?”
Max: “FiboMalaysia. The lady on TV says I do. And Mom has it too.”
Me: “Max, you don’t have Fibo-anything. You can’t even spell it. You can’t have something you can’t spell.”
Max: “FiboMalaysia. F-I-B-O-M-Y-“
Me: “OK, OK, where’s your mom?”
I am sure these conversations are happening all over America.
And no wonder. In the last 10 years, since the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the right of drug companies to advertise prescription drugs directly to the public — also known as “Direct to Consumer advertising,” — every man, woman, and child in this country has been bombarded with billions of dollars in advertising each year alerting us to what’s wrong with us and what their drugs can do to fix it. 
Last year alone, the pharmaceutical companies spent more to promote their drugs on TV than McDonald’s spent in the last decade advertising Big Macs and fries. This advertising has us all a bit more educated to the symptoms of diseases we never knew existed, but a lot more confused as well.
My wife insisted there was something wrong, so we paid a visit to the doctor.
Doctor: “OK, Marci. Tell me what seems to be the problem.”
Marci: “Our son Max has fybromyalgia, and I think I am coming down with it too.”
Doctor: “Now that’s interesting. How do you know that?”
Marci: “Well, he is complaining of chronic, widespread pain and tenderness to light touch, and a needle-like tingling of the skin, just like the woman in the advertising says.”
Doctor: “Hmm. Has he been outdoors lately? Maybe to the pool?”
Marci: “Well, yes, he was there only yesterday, but-“
Doctor: “I’m thinking sunburn. What about you? How are you feeling?”
Marci: “Me? Well, I have the other defining symptoms which can include moderate to severe fatigue, muscle aches, weakness in the limbs, and-“
Max: “Mommy, don’t forget the chronic sleep disturbances. You have those too.”
Marci: “Thank you, Max. Yes. I have the chronic sleep disturbances too.”
Doctor: “Don’t you all have a newborn at home as well? Wouldn’t she be waking you up at night?”
Marci: “Well, yes, but I just know I have this thing. This Fibro-whatever it is. I just know it.”
Dr. Kelso asked my wife and son to wait in the examining room and we went out in the hallway for a private talk.
Doctor: “Unfortunately, we are seeing this all the time. Your family is suffering from the same advertising symptoms of many of the patients I see. It’s like a virus, and it’s spreading.”
Me: “What can I do, Doc? There must be something I can do.”
Doctor: “You can try any number of things. Turn off the TV, deny them access to magazines. Don’t leave newspapers lying around. Limit their exposure to radio. And the internet. Certainly, stop them from going on line.”
Me: “Is it that serious, Doc?”
Doctor: “I’m afraid it is. Here come with me.”
He took me down the hall toward the waiting room where we ran into an elderly couple, obviously both concerned.
Doctor: “Flora, nice to see you. How are you?”
Flora: “Sally Fields says I should ask. Is Boniva right for me?”
Harry: “And how about Zyprexa? Is it right for me too?”
Doctor: “Harry, I thought I read on your chart that your foot hurts. Why in God’s name would you be interested in Zyprexa?”
Harry: “I don’t know,” he murmured. “I’m just doing what I was told. The doctor in the ad says to ask you, and here I am. He says the side effects include low blood pressure, fainting, increased heart beat, seizures, liver problems, increased body temperature, difficulty swallowing, diabetes, and stroke. So I ask you, is it right for me?”
A nurse opened the door into the waiting room where there were a dozen patients in one state of anxiety or another. They caught a glimpse of the doctor, and the onslaught began.
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, is Xeneca right for me?”
Doctor: “Please-“
Next Patient: “Doctor Kelso, I was here first. What about Celebrex? Is Celebrex right for me?”
Doctor: “If you all will-“
Another Patient: “How about Cialis? And-“
Doctor: “just keep your seats we-“
Next Patient: “How about Flonase? Lamisil? Claritin? Viagra?”
Doctor: “will get to you one at a time and-“
The nurse secured the door and we retreated into an examining room. It was stacked to the ceiling with box after box of drug samples. I squeezed my way in between the cases of Aleve, Avandia, Lamisil, Lotronex, and Zyban.
Me: “Geez, Doc. How do you treat anyone in here? You can’t even move.”
Doctor: “You’re telling me. We have no place left to put this stuff. They just drop these free samples off every week and ask us to disburse them to those who ask if the drug is right for them. The drug companies spend billions providing doctors with these free hand outs each year. It’s gotten to the point where I’m prescribing placebos.”
Me: “Oh, I see. Kind of like a pharmaceutical pincer movement. Advertising on one flank, and free samples on the other. Just one more question, Doc.”
Doctor: “Sure, what’s that?”
Me: “This has given me a splitting headache. Is Tylenol right for me?”
Copyright The Saturday Morning Post – 2008 All Rights Reserved
Lol…this is a good article, i think our reader can exchange material too..
http://www.thegenericprescription.com
Lol…this is a good article, i think our reader can exchange material too..
http://www.thegenericprescription.com
by the way, how do you find my blog?
Thanks
Thanks. Much appreciated. I think I came across your site when looking for well trafficked spots where there is a good deal of information on a great many Rx drugs.
SMP
[...] Bengel who runs Writing Frontier.com, read the post and pointed me in the direction of a piece that he wrote on the same topic. His slant on the topic is different than mine but we both reach similar conclusions—DTC [...]
Thanks for the props. Enjoyed visiting your site.
SMP
Great article. Laughing out loud and cringing at the same time. My blog site might be of interest — and here’s a recent blog on OTC :
http://blog.novusdetox.com/views/2008/09/07/flawed-study-suggests-direct-to-consumer-drug-ads-dont-work/
Keep up the good work folks!!
R
Saw your site. Really well done. Thanks for the comments.
SMP
[...] Engel who runs Writing Frontier.com, read the post and pointed me in the direction of a piece that he wrote on the same topic. His slant on the topic is different than mine but we both reach similar conclusions—DTC [...]
for chrissakes, have a new article ready if it’s the 2nd time you’re going to leech off the PT blog site.
waste of time to link really.
Tessa,
So nice to hear from you. The 2nd time? We’re thinking 15, but who’s counting? The next time you link, we promise a story on anger management. You go girl, keep on counting!
SMP