Fred Bayone, Style and Entertainment
Natalie Morales - Distractive Attractive
As I write this, our nation is in the midst of one of the greatest financial meltdowns in history. Our capitalist economic system is teetering on the brink of collapse, and not since the Great Depression have we experienced such fear over what comes next. The war in Iraq, while in hopeful remission, continues to claim the lives of innocent victims and brave soldiers every day. Russia is once again on the move, threatening its powerless neighbors, leading us to another potential Cold War.
So I ask you: what is with all these drop dead gorgeous women on the TV news?
I mean, I’m not complaining. I like to stare at a stunning beauty looking back at me as much as the next guy, or girl. But with 24/7 news coming at me from dozens of cable stations and networks, which means hundreds of news vixens reporting and commenting on breaking stories every hour of every day, this is getting really distracting. As in difficult to concentrate. As in my work is suffering. As in my wife is starting to ask questions.
First, I have to wonder how hard, national news became the domain of ALL EYE CANDY/ALL THE TIME in the first place. With all the talk of “18 million cracks in the glass ceiling,” the women’s liberation movement of the 60’s, equal rights, and the various battles fought and won over sexism in the last 30 years, how is it we find ourselves digesting our news from only the beautiful?
FOX News' Megyn Kelly - All eye candy, all the time
I pause here to give time to a great many of the 3.2 million subscribers of the Saturday Morning Post to fire up their laptops and bombard us with comments about beauty being only skin deep, in the eye of the beholder, etc. [Pause] In fact, I’ll start the bombarding: isn’t it just plain sexist to believe that just because beautiful women have made it to the top of TV news, they may not have the requisite intelligence and journalistic capability to do the job? Yes, that would be sexist, and surely they can.
But then where did all the smart, talented ugly women in the TV news business go? Well, OK, I don’t mean ugly. That was a bad thing to say. I take it back. But like it or not, it is a little known fact that Fox, ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNBC, CNN and all the rest are abiding by a voluntary telegenic rating system for news personalities as measured by a machine called a “Beautometer.” While its inner workings are quite complicated, its role is not. It measures attractiveness on camera. The size of a refrigerator, it envelops the newscaster, and depending on her telegenic qualities, registers one of five settings:
Only known photo of Beautometer in existence
Level 1: TILT. Refer her to Radio Division. TILT.
Level 2: Cute as a button. Katie Couric quality. Weekday morning show potential.
Level 3: Pretty. Cheerleader qualities. News at Noon time slot.
Level 4: Beautiful. Prime time morning. Prime time evening.
Level 5: Absolutely Gorgeous. I don’t care if the network President is sick in bed with the flu. Get him up. He has to see this.
I think I remember when all this started. Long, long ago in TV land, women began to creep into view of the camera on the local evening news in the form of the “weather girl,” that brief respite from the hard news where an attractive female meteorologist swept her arm across a map, and us off our feet, as she pointed out a low pressure system bearing down on [insert your town here]. One and a half minutes to cover the weather, and see ya.
As time marched on, the weather girl, or someone just like her, started reporting the news on the scene of the run of the mill house fire, the five car pile up on I-95, and the obligatory “will the groundhog show his shadow today” event. Years passed, times changed, and it was on to the local anchor desk, live at five.
I am not quite sure how this slow progression of roles over time at local news stations created the avalanche of national prime time opportunities for only the beautiful we see today. 
Presumably, it got its start with the genius of Ted Turner when he first launched CNN’s 24 hour news coverage onto the scene. Fast forward. Today, there are numerous websites and fan clubs devoted to capturing every image of every news starlet. I know this not because I visit these websites regularly or have ever even seen one, but because friends have told me about them and my wife is reading this article at the same time as you.
Lest you think the beauty stops at the anchor desk with the supposedly easy role of the typical news read, think again. Perhaps some readers will recall Stardate 5483.7 when the U.S.S. Enterprise happens upon the planet Taurus II consisting entirely of only gorgeous women and frees them from their own glandular secretion trap. What that episode or secretion traps have to do with this story is not entirely clear, but the parallels are striking. It is “news babes” here, there, and everywhere. The sidelines at NFL games are now increasingly dominated by female sports reporters who look like Elle McPherson, but who in all probably can put me to shame in the punt, pass, kick competition.
Then there is this growing bevy of female political reporters who would have no trouble starring opposite Matt Damon in the next Bourne Ultimatum. 
Or the constant stream of stunning female financial reporters who gaze longingly into my eyes during the opening bell as they cover the ins and outs of derivatives, futures contracts, aggressive hedging, and securitized debt. The list goes on. Striking medical reporters. Sexy entertainment reporters.
Like I said. I’m not complaining. I’m worried about the societal and cultural implications of it all. But I’m not complaining.
Copyright The Saturday Morning Post – 2008 All Rights Reserved
As Marshall said many years ago:
The Medium is the Message
Welcome to the Videodrome
Another example of the Europeanization of America that ought to come our way. (see post). In any event, I vote Italian.
SMP
Eventually, they should settle into the BBC-style “icy-hot”.
Another example of the Europeanization of America that ought to come our way. (see post). In any event, I vote Italian.
SMP
The news industry is synonymous with the entertainment industry.
Good people doing good things are not entertaining. Thats why you never see the daring rescues, benefit events or charitable acts unless its a REAAAALLY slow day.
It’s only ever death, mayhem, destruction (lately of the Dow Jones) and of course, it has to be brought to you by the sexiest people that can possibly read a teleprompter.
Why, because sex, violence, and destruction sell.
Guess we need some containment of the infotainment.
SMP
Capitalism will be fine. Socialism is killing itself trying to please everybody and we know how that goes as the crow flies. The good looking anchors are just capitalists trying to get the highest return. People keep tuning in, so it is working. Picture ugly socialist anchors and no profits. Not a pretty picture. With a pretty anchor and a good ship, you can always please yourselves. Don’t drop anchor and keep sailing on the air. Stay tuned.
So that’s where all the ugly ones went – North Korea.
SMP
I don’t know about N. Korea. I never got beyond local. It could just be that the ugly ones are chained up at the dying newspapers waiting for a shot at the big money. It could start looking uglier sooner rather than later. It’s a bad socialist scene in Washington. People love capitalism when taking it. They don’t seem to be pleased when they are receiving it. It looks like trouble ahead. As always, it’s better to give than to receive. That’s capitalism for you.
If you ask us, the whole situation is ugly. Just plain ugly.
SMP
The only thing that will bring the big newspapers back is bringing back the small local community newspapers. The alternative is no future for newspapers. It is like cash and credit cards. One gets you into trouble and the other keeps you out. Presses and paper are good industries. The tech has an important place in society, but it can’t replace some things. We thought it could and then the whole bubble popped. I guess it’s like wrapping paper and I’m back to Christmas again. Who wants a Christmas email? You want a card and you want paper. You need paper and you need to keep killing trees. More trees will grow and be killed. We’ve gone from killing more trees to killing more people and the trend seems to keep growing. I want my local paper back and I don’t care how many trees need to be killed to get it back. That should drive the tree huggers nuts. The chainsaw industry should love it.
Greets! Really interesting. keep working! Tnx! Saw!